Acknowledge
by Hihothedairyo
Summary: Mugen's POV. He looked from me to Jin to Fuu with wide eyes, and they eventually settled on Fuu. Ah, he wants to pop both their cherries. -god, story, edit and update yourself.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:_ Meh, I've been working on this for while and just cannot get it down for some reason. I lack adjectives and must have used the semi-colon atleast ten times. It's been rewritten, rewritten, and rewritten and it just won't come out. Which is odd because whenever the show is over I immediantly think about the plot I want to write. Gr, stupid brain._**

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"So...fucking...hungry." I, along with all three of our stomachs, growled. Two days we had been walking down this fucking road, no sign of a vender, inn, or brothel. No food.

The sun and the day seemed to be getting hotter and longer, and our walking sure as hell doesn't help matters. The skinny young brat beside me is groaning again, which only reminds me that I haven't gotten any in four days. Che, fuck her. I would have gotten some three days ago, but _no, _she had to and get herself kidnapped. So instead of fucking, I had to find and beat up three dicks; all because she got mad and wondered off.

God, everything looks like food. That tree reminds me of meat, wonderful juicy meat. And that stream reminds me of sake. And that squirrel reminds me of how that bitch hid her little beast from me so I wouldn't try to eat it. Yeah, well, let's wait and see her starve to death; she'll want a squirrel for dinner then!

Oh, great, she's wobbling now. Probably gonna pass out and make one of us carry her. Hell no! If she passes out I'm letting her stay there while I find and eat her pet. That thing looks like it'll coo------ Fuck, she's hanging onto Jin as if her life depended on it. And her mouth is too close to his face. "I don't feel so good." "No shit, Fuu." She managed to throw a glare my way before her eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped further onto Jin, who took her by the waist and put her on his shoulder, prepared to carry her like some child.

"I say we drop her." I said. Jin ignored me and continued walking her head resting on his shoulder and his arms under her ass. "Come on, you know you want to." He still ignored me. Fine, he can be that way and carry her scrawny ass the rest of the way. I sure as hell aint even gonna think about it. No way. Though I guess it's not too bad a strain on him, brat is flat so he doesn't have to worry about breasts rubbing against him, she's skinny so he doesn't have to worry about her being to heavy. But I still wouldn't even think about carrying her.

"There's a town up ahead. We'll find an inn to put her in and then we'll look for work." So fish face spoke just to give me an order, eh? "As if I'm following orders from you. We'll put her down and then I'm going to go fuck while you work." I don't like that little grin of his. "With what money will you afford a woman with?" Fine, he has a point.

The town looked pretty small. With one main road and a handful of shops; the rest were all two story houses and just one inn. And dammit, there wasn't even a brothel! Oh, well. Hopefully the women are were loose. When we got up close to the town I caught sight of the women, and ew. Apparently having your face look the brat's squirrel's was in style here. This place looked like a sausage festival, and all the men looked like pansies! Geez, I might as well have starved to get to another town.

The people looked at us strangely as we walked by them towards the medium sized building with a big Inn sign hanging infront of it. Yeah, I'd look at us funny too. The ugly women fluttered their eyelashes and puckered their lips. No thanks, bestiality isn't my thing.

The inn looked deserted to me; no one was leaving, no one was going in. But if it meant getting away from these flirtatious beasts and putting the brat away, then whatever. We walking inside, and it looked quite cozy. It wasn't filled with people and the rooms looked goodly spaced apart. Now if they're cheap or are hiding the good looking women in the back, then I'll enjoy my stay.

Jin knocked on the desk and within a minute a peppy old woman, who looked like she might have been fine ass back in the day, came shuffling from the back with a big smile on her face. Her gray hair was long, 'bout to her waist, in a braid and her entire face was looking like white wrinkled leather. Like I said, compared to these whores outside she was fine ass in her time. Behind her a young man, looked about Fuu's age, followed. I didn't like him already. He had long wavy black hair hanging around his face and was slender and tall, like Jin a bit, except shyer and less fishy.

"Aye, there! Welcome! Welcome!" The old woman said and pulled out a large book from underneath her clothes. Yeah, I'm not touching that. "Oh, we haven't had a visitor in this town for years. This is so exciting!" She was practically bouncing as she handed us ink and something to write with.

Jin shifted Fuu so that he could write our names better and she moaned softly. And I caught how that asshole Jin look-alike looked at her when she did. Ha, didn't think anyone looked at her in any other way than disgust or a leer; all he did was look at her curiously with dark blue eyes. Blue eyes? Bet he's part European; seems hot granny got it on back in her day.

The granny leaned forward and squeezed Fuu's cheeks. "Aw! She's adorable! Isn't she sweet enough to lick, Almi?" Almi? What a pussy name. And sweet enough to lick? Almi blushed and started stuttering. "Y-y-yeah, but n-not to lick. I-I don't mean she's u-ugly! I would l-lick her! N-no wait." Granny covered his mouth and smiled at us. "Almi's not used to sweet girls. Still a virgin and all." "Mother!"

He looked from me to Jin to Fuu with wide eyes, and they eventually settled on Fuu. Ah, he wants to pop both their cherries. Good luck bub, you'd have a better chance getting some goods from those squirrels roaming around.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have any money. Would it be alright he worked for you instead of paying?" Jin broke the awkwardness and Almi muttered a muffled thanks. "Why, of course. I'll knock on your door at day break tomorrow so you can get started. But tonight, you three get settled and Almi will bring you some food. Three rooms or one?" I had to think this out. Would three rooms mean more work? Would it mean more food? Would someone kidnap Fuu while we're sleeping? Will her and Almi get it on and I won't be able to see and ridicule?

"One." And a thank you, fish face. The woman nodded and let go of her son. "You go ahead and see them to their room." She said. Then she leaned up close to him and whispered. "And ask about the girl, I want grandchildren." He blushed and rushed on ahead. Ha, if Fuu finds out she's gonna whack him on the head. I can see it now, funny visual.

We followed him to the last room on the right hallway and slid the door open. One futon...I'm so getting it. Fish face rushed ahead of me and layed Fuu down, looking at me with that irritating grin. Yeah, fuck you too! "I'll, uh, just bring some food." Almi rushed off and I cocked an eyebrow. "Looks like the bitch's gonna loose her virginity soon, eh?" Jin hit me with his shoe.

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**Author's Note:_ So, not bad for a first chapter that I couldn't write for the life of me. And something is wrong with my account on here. It's, for some unknown reason, not sending me any alerts. Two days ago it just up and quit. So if you know what the problem may be or how to fix it, then please review help, because it won't send me the message._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note_: Meh, I think I failed my math test due to lack of effort. If I saw a problem I didn't understand, which were a lot, I skipped it, then came back and gave a half assed attempt at working it. Next time we hold a math test, I'm going to approach it like a marathon. I'll eat my veggies, study, and write down and read over twice the notes. I'll wake up early on test day, work out, rap a crappy song about the ghetto while using wild hand gestures. And viola, A!_ **

**_Thank you to all the reviewers. And a special thanks to Inulover4eva who helped me out._**

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That asshole is getting on my last nerves, and I have patience. Well, not a lot, but still! The moment Fuu woke up and begged for food he came rushing in here with a whole tray full, all blushing and stuttering. Then when she was out of tea she opened the door and there he was with more and a smile. And he's always hesitating before walking out.

"Just screw him already, girly, so he'll leave us the hell alone." I said as she drank down her tea. By the look on her face she was enjoying it, along with all the special attention. "Don't be mean, Mugen. He's probably just lonely here and wants us as friends." "Naw, he just wants you and your excuses for boobs as friends." Don't even think of throwing that tea cup.

"Do not speak to a young woman in such a way." Jin said with that holier than thou tone. I ignored him and moved to sit infront of Fuu, pushing the empty dishes on the tray off to the side. I rubbed my thumb over her lips and leaned up against her ear. "He wants you." She was blushing, I think; either that or she was fixing to loose her temper. I hoped the former. "It's obvious that he wants your pus--" "Pervert! Pervert!" Ow! Little bitch is gonna loose her hands one of these days.

Jin grinned from his spot over in the corner and let out a little laugh. "One of the reasons not to talk that way to a young woman." I flicked him off and stood up. "Fine, forget you two." I slid the door open and stomped out of the room extremely pissed off.

I was just trying to tease her, damn. I mean, it's not like every day some young guy wants her body. What's the harm in a little friendly play? Pfft, I just need a woman to take my mind off them. I walked past sleeping granny and out into the night, which was pretty active for such a small town. The women still looked butt ugly, but not as bad as they did earlier; they moved up the scale from two to five, and four is where they're deemed fuckable atleast. And I just spotted a six on the arm of her husband. Well, rules were made to be broken.

She gave me 'the eyes' and walked into a small shop selling kimonos. Oh, yeah; I'm hitting that. I followed her in quickly and licked my lips when she bent forward after 'dropping' her hair clip. "Excuse me, sir. May I help you?" She sauntered over and moved her face in just the right position so that her eyes seemed less close together and her lips looked less swollen and puckered. "Are you looking at dresses for a certain girl?" A secret way to tell if I'm available. Baby, look below my waist and you'll know it don't matter either way.

Well, now that she mentioned it, these kimonos would look nice for someone like Fuu. They're made small so it would compliment what figure she has, and the colors were all bright and would make her cheeks seem rosy. Heh, maybe I can convince look-alike to buy one. Hell, why I am worrying about that when I'm fixing to get some from the hottest this town has to offer?

I gave a sexy grin that made her look me over. She cocked an eyebrow and took my hand, leading to a small cramped back room with different fabrics in it. "My brother takes all his women back here, so he installed a lock." Clever thinking. She locked the door and wrapped an arm around my neck. "Now, show me how happy you are to see me." I'll pretend I didn't see a flash of the brat's face replace her's.

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Well, that wasn't the worst I've had. Disappointing. The entire time she spent posing instead of touching, so I spent more time gripping her hair trying to make her catch the hint. After about an hour I got fed up and rid myself of the problem, since she wasn't gonna do it. Ha, what sucks is that she's the only good looking one here. The next best thing would be granny, and even I have a limit.

Now I laid here with the woman laying next to me still panting; from what I don't know, she never moved for longer than five seconds. "Wow." Yeah, I don't feel the same, whore. "I should pay you for that; wow." An idea popped into my head. I could make her pay with one of those kimonos out there, help lover boy get into Fuu's pants. I turned to her, as she was getting dressed and ready to leave, and sat up. "Yeah, you could pay. How much are those kimonos out there? Am I good enough for one of those?"

She pulled her hair up and crossed her close eyes to concentrate. From a six to a three in under a minute, impressive. "They're very expensive. Husbands only buy them for their wives every other birthday." Her lips puckered out more and she turned into another one of those squirrels. "I'm sorry; you were good, but not that good. No offense but you smell bad, and that was a turn off." She stood up and pushed her butt out before unlocking the door and looking over her shoulder at me. "But I defiantly won't say no after you've bathed and decided to come back for more."

More? Of what? I pulled my clothes on and kicked over a big box of silk fabrics right ontop of the mess we made. I walked out and saw her kissing her overweight husband on the sweetie cheek, eyeing yet another poor man. But I suspect he was more interested in that other man leaning against a lantern pole.

Stupid whore. I'm worth more than her shitty kimonos. Yeah! I walked around and started looking them all over to find just the right one. They all were pretty nice; delicately made with time and effort. But they wouldn't look good on Fuu now that I could picture her in them. They either made her hair look too plain or made her look fat. Oh, well. Look-alike won't give a damn. I picked up the one that looked as close to best as it was going to get. A dark blue one with brown fur rimming the edges and a small animal design right over the right breast. If this doesn't get him laid then nothing will.

So I threw it over my shoulder and walked right past the whore, who didn't even notice. The hotel was still looking deserted, and the lanterns outside weren't even lit, but look-alike was standing outside looking around. Fun time.

"Hey, Almond." His upper lip twitched and he looked over at me. "Muni?" "Mugen, asshole." I tossed the kimono at him and sat down, stretching my legs out. "And mine's Almi." He sat down beside me, brushing the hair over his shoulders, and looked at the kimono strangely. "What's this?" He asked. Not so shy anymore, huh. Oh, that's right. 'Still a virgin and all.' Fuu makes him weak in the knees.

"It's something to help you win over the brat." A strange thought came to mind when he hugged the garment close to him. If he and the bitch did get together, would she stop searching for that samurai guy? If she did then me and Jin would have to leave eventually, and who knows about this guy. He could beat her or rape her, and she'd have no one to defend her. Fuck it, I'm not staying unless I have to. If she gets beat it's her own fault.

"Her favorite color is blue?" He tore me from my thoughts by asking. "Do I look like I know? I just grabbed the damn thing. But I don't think she likes brown or blue." Now I'm gonna mess with Almond's mind, show him who's boss. "So she wouldn't like this?" "Nope."

He smiled and bunched it up. "I'm glad she wouldn't like it." I think my eyebrow just raised up to meet the moon. "It's not a very intricate design, and the fabric feels too itchy." He certainly changed his mind fast! Look-alike is playing me, aint he? "Besides, pink and light green look best on her." He stood up and held out his hand. If it was meant to shake or pull me up, I don't know. But I slapped it away all the same. "Thank you for this, anyway. I know of all types of things to make out of this."

I frowned and had the urge to rip his hair out. "Almi!" Or his mother would for me. Hot granny came out and a short and hairy leg kicked him in the shin. "What are you talking to him for? You can talk to him after I'm feeding a grandchild named Ilma." Imla, daughter of Almi. I hope that kid gets rocks thrown at it when it's a child just to show them how stupid those names are.

A laugh was let loose and she kicked me in the ass. "Hey, granny!" "You can't be laughing, stench man. Your body odor woke me up when you walked by and I had to go sniff a flower for ten minutes to get my nose hairs to stop burning." It aint that bad, they're just exaggerating. "Take a bath before you insult Almi and the girl's child to be's name."

I hopped up and stood over her in what I thought was intimidating. Kick! Guess it wasn't. "You smell like sex, filthy creature. Ew, who would make babies with you." Almi covered his face with the kimono and walked inside embarrassed. "Bath's out back in a little house. And you better wash it out." I spat by her foot and started walking away. I passed by Jin leaning against the front desk laughing and made note to chop off all his hair while he's asleep tonight.

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**Author's Note:_ Yeah, compared to the last chapter this one is rushed and not very funny, but oh well. I'm trying not to break one of my rules, yet again, by having the pairing fall for each other by the first three chapters. Because where's the fun in that? Oh, and this FuuXOC, FuuXMugen, and small mentions of one-sided JinXFuu._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** **_Ah, I read a short story today called Ramond's Race, I think it was, and the narrator reminded me so much of a less vulgar Mugen. Oh, and I forgot the disclaimer. Samurai Champloo is not mine. If you believe it is and want to sue me, then you have too much time on your hands. And I will crawl through this computer and your's and kick you in the shin. Not possible? Oh, I'll go all Mulder on you and make it possible._**

**_And Mugen's nicknames for Almi are going to change constantly._**

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Ya know, look-alike aint so bad at the women's duties. For the three days that we've been here he's cooked good food, sewn up the holes, and made up what we slacked on with the chores. I think he just wants Fuu to stay and have little almonds with him. And I think granny wants the same, and that's why she's allowing us to stay. She doesn't like me, I can tell. That evil glint in her eye when she sees me around Fuu tells me all I need to know.

Like right now, she's giving me the evil eye from across the grass. Yeah, we're out on a picnic, 'cause the brat said it was a nice day outside and granny said one of our chores was having lunch with her. And Almi.

Those two were sitting across from each other, brat chatting and look-alike looking like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. I hope they do and land in her lap; see how his chances are then! And granny is still evil eyeing me. Hell, can't a guy just enjoy some food a love struck pansy made? "What are you looking at, icky?" Her nickname for me. And I'm looking at a slowly dying hag who worries about ugly babies too much.

Jin is watching brat and look-alike interact closely with his tea cup covering his pursed lips. Probably doesn't want granny seeing and making stupid nicknames up for him either. "Really!" Fuu shouted. Almi laughed and she covered her mouth, blushing and muffling her apologies. Now all three of us were intrigued. "Honestly. But people say that it's just a crazy old man who likes playing match maker."

Asshole liar, he wasn't all blushing and shy when I saw him giving directions to the nearest town. And he was talking to Six, the woman I had fucked and robbed. She said she was expanding her business and opening another shop in a busier town. But if he didn't blush at her cleavage, he certainly isn't truly blushing about some young puberty-forsaken girl.

"That's creepy. I'll make note not to go to those woods." Fuu said. Look-alike's face fell and he looked down. "But it's probably just a myth, you know. People will believe any ro-romantic nonsense." She patted the hand on his chop sticks and tried to smile. "Is the scenery as pretty as you said? That big meadow and pretty waterfall in the forest?" She's just trying to make him feel good. Poor, poor Almond. "Yeah. I'll take you sometime."

Hot granny looks like she's fixing to jump up and make booties right now, Jin's eyebrows are twitching, and I'm wondering if they're planning on going to see 'crazy old man who likes to play match maker'. "What ya talking 'bout?" I ask. I stretched and let a little gas pass, making all their eyes narrow and their noses bunch up. "You're so rude. Atleast say 'excuse me'." "It didn't hurt you any." "Try telling that to my burning nose hairs." "Improper table conduct." "Ew." They have the ugliest morphed together voice I ever heard.

Granny pretended to stretch and hit Almi in the shoulder, which made him turn back to Fuu. "How about we go tonight? The stars are really pretty from the waterfall." She nodded her head enthusiastically and granny gave me a look. I don't know what she as trying to tell me, but it doesn't matter in the long run. I just want to know what little plan these two birds are making.

"Where are you planning to go?" Jin's been reading my mind lately, I just know it. "Oh, we're just going out to look at stars." I heard that part, bitch. "Well, where?" I think all of our eyes got big and we looked at him. So it wasn't as snappy as all of the comments I make, but it was still out of character for him. Fuu's mouth was open and she looked around as if thinking of how to reply. Like I said, snappy fish face isn't a usual occurrence.

"Just through the woods." Almi said. Jin turned and gave him a hard stare. "And how long do you plan to stay out alone and unprotected?" Fuu still looked shocked and granny looked ready to knock him over the head. Almi glanced at Fuu before lifting his head up and staring straight into Jin's eyes. "As long as we like." Whoo, that little punk is asking for it. If Jin doesn't kill him then I will, just because he's annoying and too fake for my tastes.

Fuu looked at Jin once before jumping up and snatching Almi's hand in her own. "We should go see it while there's daylight, uh, ha ha." Nice nervous laugh, not noticeable by anyone else at all. "You're right." He stood up and Jin grabbed hold onto his clothes. "If you're not back by dark or if she is kidnapped I will dispose of you." This is getting good. Wonder how hot granny is taking it. I looked at her and laughed at the fire being shot at Jin through her eyes.

"Good thing it's noon, isn't it." Fuu said with another nervous laugh and started to pull Almond in the direction of the woods they were talking about. Now that you think about it, seeing the two fight was quite funny. They look about the same feature wise, and if Jin let his hair down I bet it would have been same there too.

Jin stood up and bowed at granny. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to clean up." He had started to walk off but granny snatched his hair. "Oh, no you don't. I am having grandchildren soon if it's the last thing I do; and Fuu is the best looking girl around, along with the sweetest, and is the only one worthy of being my daughter-in-law." When he went to pull away she snatched up his glasses and threw them on the ground and hovered her foot over the top of them.

Don't you look at me fish face, because you know that all I need is an excuse to run after them and cut his head off, and that I'll do it. He flickered his eyes over towards the woods and winked. Gotcha. "What'd you tell him? Don't you think of stopping them from reproducing."

I grinned at her and ran towards the woods, hand on the hilt of my sword. I wonder why fish face is so upset. After all, it's good that the brat is finally getting some nookie. Maybe that'll mean that she'll bitch less, a lot less, and life would be good. But eh, I guess I don't like the jack-off look-alike and could think of a thousand better people out there that could screw her. But still, it's bothering me how he got all angry because Almond wanted to take her on a walk; after all, I just got angry because I don't like the fake.

And there they are, walking hand in hand through the woods and towards the meadow he was talking about. I crept behind trees a short distance away from them and eavesdropped. Hey, I'm a moral-less bastard, why change this late in the game?

When they got to the meadow I didn't have anything to hide behind, so I just waited behind a tree for them to come back my way.

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How pretty can a meadow be that you have to run around in it from noon to sun down! Goddammit, and I had to keep looking over at them because there was nothing better to do; plus they kept making noises that reminded me of something much more vulgar than innocent play. Groaning, laughing, cute little noises that the brat would probably make after climaxing.

"So, what would like to do now?" Yes, they were walking closer towards the forest. Fuu's hair was let down and rested a little below her shoulder, which was good looking on her. Almi was looking even more like Jin than before, with his hair in a loose braid hanging behind him. They walked past me; still holding hands, I noticed. I stood up and sneaked behind them.

"Oh, we still have time to see the waterfall. I'm sure Jin forgot about his threat." She said. He nodded and started running with her. I followed, tripping over the rocks they seemed to skip over. Man, fish face better give me some money after this. They continued on their way until they got to the waterfall.

It was pretty, I'll admit. The setting sun did give it a certain lightening that made it look very welcoming and the water looked calming. But not calming enough for the two of them to get naked and swim. "Go ahead, I won't look." He better not mean what the hell I think he means. I peaked over the bush I was hiding behind to see Almond covering his eyes and Fuu taking off her clothes. Now, I never said that she was ugly.

_Who'd want to fuck you, bitch? Ha, you think a brothel would even take you? You're ass ugly. Ugly brat. Flat as a board ugly brat._

So I did. But she certainly doesn't look too bad near water and naked. Small little body, just enough assets to grab, and that brown hair fits her. She walked over and put one foot in the water, jumping backwards when it was too cold. Yeah, so she's not the most sensual female. "Are you ready?" "No! Don't look!" She held her breath and nose and ran forward into the water, making a large splash all over her clothes. "Damn. Okay, I'm ready."

Almond's not too bad looking either, if you ignore the big scar across his abdomen. He has no hair on his body, so guess the two puberty-less kids can get together. I sat back, not feeling the urge to watch them, and listened incase things got too hot and heavy. They're just kids you know; don't need to be doing them things. All I heard was laughter, more laughter, huffs, more laughter, chit chat, laughter galore, and then repeat.

"So, what are you doing in this town?" Look-alike asked. "Oh, we're looking for somebody important. Or, I am. Those two are just my bodyguards." This is going to get interesting. I laid on my side and listened closely. "Makes sense. You do look like the type to get abducted a lot." Oh, bitch slap. One point look-alike. Fuu scoffed and I bet she was probably crossing her arms. "Only because they're always running off and I have to go to dangerous places to find them." Bullshit, brat.

"Whatever you say." It sounded like she splashed water on him and he laughing. "How about you? Where is your father? I bet you got the blue eyes from him." She asked. "Oh, yeah. He was German and came over here to sell his books. He met my mother and married her. They built that hotel and she conceived me. He ran off back to his family in Germany when I was a few months old." His voice sounded truthful, but I still think he's just telling her to get a sympathy fuck. "Oh, I'm so sorry." Yep. But question is: are you sorry enough to let him touch you?

"Nah, it's okay. My mother threw a brick at him and broke his arm while he was walking away. I do wonder if he got back to Germany alright sometimes, though." That's the 'I'll sleep with you to make-up for lack of a father figure' part that Fuu needs to initiate. "I know how you feel. So your mother has raised you alone all this time?" "Mm-hm." It shows, look-alike.

I peaked on them once or twice, just to make sure he wasn't trying to sneak a grope. Way to go, Almond. The water only covers the top of her nipples, and just barely. "I thought you caught onto the hint not to let them be together alone." A smooth voice said.

I turned and met eyes with an angry Jin. He was clutching the handle of his sword tightly and I wanted to laugh at him. "They're just cleaning up _their _mess. You should have come by earlier, they were going at it like rabb--" "Mugen!" I peaked over the bush to see Fuu pulling her clothes on and Almi blushing from the water. "What happened? What did you do?" Jin stepped over the bush and started stomping towards the water. Man, that running water really makes me have to pee.

"Him? Jin, Mugen! He's over there watching like a pervert!" "As opposed to touching you before marriage or even commitment?" He pulled out his sword and I hoped over the bush and walked towards them. "I was just kidding about that comment, damn. You and I both know no red-blooded male goes for chicks like her." "Hey, bastard." "So naggy." Jin rolled his eyes and snatched the naked look-alike up by the wrist. "We're all going home. Now."

Look-alike stuttered something about his clothes and Jin replied with a glare. "I. Don't. Care." Fuu sighed and picked up his cloths before following them, and I following her. "This is all your fault." She muttered. "I denied nothing."

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**Author's Note_: Crap, Andy Kaufman attack. Quick, someone get me the seasons of Taxi. Come on now, hurry up! You know what, this is R.E.M.'s fault. They just hhhaaaddd to put Man On The Moon as the first number on their greatest hits cd. Which reminded me, "hey, I haven't watched Man On The Moon yet. I've been waiting to watch that movie for six years.". So I went on Wikipedia and read his biography, along with the movie's. So here I am, pratically banging my head on the desk because I want to watch Taxi and Saturday Night Live (70's). _**

**_Review so I stop living in the past, that I didn't live in, and accept the present._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note_: Note got deleted and I can't remember what I typed. Damn. It had a thank you to reviewers, especially those who sympathized with my Kaufman plight. I still haven't watched Taxi yet. D: And the rest of the note is forgotten._**

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Needless to say, when we got back to the inn hot granny had took her braid and started to whip Jin and me with it. How the fuck does a person think to whip someone with their hair? Oh, well. It hurt like a bitch. I think she has rope for hair. "Stupid men! You better be glad I won't rip your ear off!" She had bared her teeth when she said that and chomped down. Jin had glared at Almi before going off to the room but I had stayed.

So now I'm just stuck cutting potatoes with Fuu, who thinks it's cute to hum annoying little songs that get stuck in a person's head. "This is the song that never ends, never ends, never ends. This is the song that never ends, never ends, never ends." She's been singing that since we started. Where did girly hear that song from in the first place? If I find out I'll cut their head off, since they think it so smart to spread that song instead of letting it die.

I hate cutting potatoes. I've cut my fingers a dozen times and the skin still ain't coming off. "Ew, Mugen, don't get your blood on the potatoes." She leaned forward and snatched the potato out of my hand. "I'll get blood anywhere I want." I snapped at her. She rolled her eyes and went to work on my potato. I went to grab another one but she grabbed my wrist. "You're going to get infected, so stop touching the potatoes that people plan to eat." She's treating me like a baby. I'm a fucking criminal, not some child who can't understand no.

I twisted out of her grip and grabbed another potato, going to work on peeling it. "No, Mugen." "Fuck off." She stomped her foot and glared at me, as if that's supposed to work on me. I smeared the small wound that was dripping just a little bit of blood over the skin and smirked. "Stop that! Oh, I'm so telling." "As if I care?" "She's going to beat you up." I threw the potato at her and it hit her right on the forehead, even smearing some of the blood onto it.

I grabbed another one and she put her hands over mine to try and loosen my grip on the vegetable. "Put it down. Right now. Stop peeling, you ass!" She stood up and started pulling at my hands with all her scrawny might. "I'll peel as long as I feel like it, and I feel like it. You sure as hell aren't going to tell me to stop just because you're a little grossed out." She huffed and continued pulling. I hope her little Almi sees her with my blood on her forehead.

"Blood has germs, you moron. We're all going to get infected with your diseases." "What diseases, bitch? I'm as healthy as a doctor." She pulled harder and I started tugging opposite of her. "With all those whores you're with I wouldn't be surprised if you were already dying." I gave a hard tug and she let out an 'eep!' before falling forwards. Great, so I'm stuck here with bloody fingers, a brat in my lap with her lips really close to my ear, and a potato mashed into my chest by a board, or Fuu's chest; same difference.

A low laughing came from the doorway and I looked up to see Six standing there with all her givings accentuated in that kimono. And by the look in her eye she was jealous of...Fuu? End of the world. "This is so cute." She said with a baby voice. Fuu, who'd yet to get off me, looked at her strangely. "Um, hi?" Six made a noise and sat in Fuu's spot on the floor across from me. "Hm, hello there, doll." She winked at me. As if I'm hitting that again.

Fuu pressed her lips close to my ear, in what at first seemed like possessiveness. But when she didn't lick nor kiss I realized she was just an innocent and annoying brat looking to talk my ear off. "Do you know her? I think she's eyeing you some." I pulled away from her lips and looked at her before looking over at Six. Compare and contrast. I suppose Six is better in the sack than Fuu will ever hope to be. But when it came to beauty, then girly was miles ahead. I ignored the questions and moved my hands behind my head.

Six looked at the potatoes with superiority before focusing all of her attention back on me. "So what brings you here? I've yet to take that bath." She lost her look and narrowed her eyes. "I'm here on account of Naka, the woman who's housing you." She said with an unamused voice. "Bath? Huh?" Fuu was asking but being ignored by the both of us. "And what does hot granny want?"

She dug her hands through her kimono looking for something, making small sexual noises as if to turn me on. "Ah--ah--" She dug further down until her breasts were hanging out and her hand must have been touching her belly button. Fuu leaned into me and looked away from the flopping bags that she couldn't identify herself with. And I guess I suffered temporary insanity because I put my arm around her neck and covered her eyes with my hand.

"And here we are." She pulled out some papers and tossed them forward at me, quickly fixing her kimono. "As if you two haven't seen it before." She mumbled. Fuu moved my arm away and scrunched up her face in a glare at Six before picking up the papers. "What's this?" Six glared back at her before answering. "Gee, I don't know. Maybe you should read it, or have your master do it instead." "Listen here!" "What the hell is it?" I shoved brat's hands up so that the papers were right in front of her eyes.

"Fine, geez." She said. "'LaPlegua's back in town, and you know what that means. The fifth annual beauty pageant is being held! LaPlegua and his assistance Minnagari are two of the best underground artists in the world, and they have spared their precious time for us to judge yet another beauty pageant. The auditions will be held June sixth at lunch time and the pageant will begin three days later at the same time. Only a maximum of twenty girls will go through to the actual pageant, so buy that new kimono and hair piece and get ready!'"

I was holding back my laughter as Fuu finished off one of the letters. Beauty pageant? In this town? Ahah! Now that must be a sight! I bet that LePlegua ass is just coming back year after year for entertainment. Hell, I would.

"Naka wanted me to help train you for it." Six doesn't sound all too thrilled. Fuu started laughing and leaned forward to slap her hand against her knee. "That's a joke. I'm sorry, but we can't afford the necessities that it takes to be in a pageant." She leaned back into me and Six's hands twitched. "It's not all about clothes and hair. I won one year with just a small kimono on and nothing else. It's about attitude, sexiness." The brat sexy? Pfft, okay.

"You have to command their attention to all the right places. Sway your hips, eye them with dominance and a hint of innocence, flirt with your eyes and mouth." She got on her knees and straightened out her back. "I'm not just doing this for show!" Fuu scrambled out of my lap and copied Six. Six moved her body to the left so that both her goods and her ass stood out more. Fuu tried, but it didn't have the same effect with the mashed potato on her ... well, Almond can refer to her extra inch of skin and milk as goods if he wants to, cause I'm not.

Six noticed the potato and sighed, looking at me with fiery brown eyes. A challenge? You got it, ho. She sucked her cheeks in and puckered up her swollen lips. Bah, how that won any contest with beauty in the name I'll never know. Fuu stared at her for a moment before straightening up and following. Now, she didn't look all that ugly. She hadn't sucked in her cheeks like Six did, so with her lips puckered up like that she seemed naÏve girl in a brothel with her first customer, even if the blood did damage what sexiness in the face she had.

"This is fun! Mugen, you should try it." She laughed at her own joke and I flicked her off. Six's hands twitched again and she raised an eyebrow with a cocky smile on her face. "Now be careful trying this, it's only to be brought out as a last resort; for example, if a girl is upstaging you."

She stood up and put her left arm opposite on her hip and her other arm stretched upwards with a slight bend in the elbow. She angled herself so that her legs were straight and her back was bent backwards gracefully. Graceful, you know, if her face wasn't so ugly. She sucked in her cheeks and puckered her lips like before. "Stare at the judge as if he's the only man you've eyes for. Make him want your body, as well as your mind. But mostly your body."

Fuu seemed lost for a minute before angling herself backwards also. She crossed both arms to touch her hips instead and turned her head a little to the side to look at me. She puckered her lips and her bangs fell backwards to expose her jaw line. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she stared me right in the eye. _Sexy, no? Bratty bitch to delicate woman that's just begging to be touched._

"This really hurts." She gritted out, breaking the illusion that was starting to form. Six broke her stance and fluffed up her hair. "Practice makes even the biggest failures perfect." Fuu sat down again and wiped her eyes. "That really, really hurts. How can you stand to do that?" I felt a hard, uh, big problem then. A problem which needed to be fixed.

"You two stand a better chance than the other squirrels out there." I said quickly before rushing off towards an empty room.

While rushing and gripping my problem to try and get a head's start when my toe hit something fluffy and itchy, causing me to fall forward and bang my pride on the ground. "Goddammit!" I shouted and gripped my problem again, which was aching and throbbing from being slammed onto the ground. "Stupid," I picked up the thing and looked at it closely. "wig?" Now why would someone need a wig? This household and guests all have some good hair on their head.

I tossed the straight blonde wig off to the side and went back to finding that room.

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**Author's Note: _LaPlegua is a real person, but his name came to mind while typing since it sounds so elegant and so sexy, like he would be the one to judge a beauty contest. And pay attention to that wig! The blonde wig! Go watch some Scooby Doo (old not new. Ugh, the new should be burned, forgotten, and never mentioned by anyone again..., anyone who values their life, that is) to get intouch with that inner detective._**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** _**Boy, do I love the news. The one time that I feel like "hey, Anna Nicole Smith's case isn't depressing to me and won't make my cynicalness grow. I think I'll watch some news", and what happens? I turn it on Nancy Grace right as they mention "mommy masturbated while the father orally and anally raped a six year old boy and the son held him down." Yeah, wonderful. Because of cases like that I stopped watching Law And Order: SUV. Bastards. You know shocking 'omgchildrape!letsdescribeeverygruesomedetailrightuptowhatcolorunderwearthechildhad' news gets old. And depressing.**_

**_A thank you to the reviewers. May you not turn on the TV just to hear something like that._**

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Ha, had I known how much hilarity it took to get ready for a beauty pageant then I would have become a coach a long time ago. "No!" The sound of a cup shattering against the wall and someone stomping around in heavy shoes. I sat on the other side of the door and listened as Six attempted to coach Fuu on what it takes to be sexy.

They've been at this since dawn, fish face told me. Aw, poor Fuu, she's probably black and blue by now if Six had acted on her threats. "If you don't lean towards me right now then I'm going to bang your head into the ground until you see stars!" Ah, that's a new one. Mostly she just sticks with 'kill you' or her personal favorite 'beat you until you give up begging for mercy'.

"I'm trying to! I'm not a feline, ya know." Fuu stomped her heavy shoe and I felt the vibration. Oh, is Six going to be pissed. There was the sound of heavy breathing followed by choking noises. "You listen here, you little board." Heh. "I'm going to make them fall in absolute love with your body, because that means that I'm a miracle worker and will have good karma. I. Want. Good. Karma." Fuu was choking out insults and stomping her shoes. "If you get me bad karma, I will wrap my hands around your nose and rip it off, understood?"

The door slid open and Six looked like that Christian devil possessed her. "Fiery, eh?" A heavy shoe was smacked against my chest and she stomped off, wobbling due to height difference, what with the shoe being eight inches tall and all.

I spun around to laugh at Fuu, and laugh I did. Six had smothered her in so much face paint that she looked like a sad clown. Her lips were so bright red that they looked like they were covered in blood, which isn't flattering on her to even me, a damn sadist. The white face paint was running and stained the light blue kimono. I laughed and pointed cruelly at the sad clown.

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked when I noticed the big tears gathering in her eyes. "I-I-I'm not going to win." She cried and tried to rub the face paint off. So what if she looked like a little girl when she did that. And so what if I wanted to hug her and feed her sweets and playfully rub her belly until she smiled. I'm not gonna act on it. Yeah, she can feed her own self sweets and rub my belly.

"Oh, shut up." I said and dropped down so that I was face to face with her. "Ah! Burning! Burning!" She shouted and I pitied Six for working with this brat from dawn to the afternoon. "Stop rubbing, you're getting that shit in your eyes." I said and snagged her arm away. I forced as much spit as I could into my mouth and dipped her sleeve in, laughing as she cringed and tried to swat me away.

"Ew! Mugen, don't you think of touching me with that." The closer the sleeve got to her face the harder she hit my arm. "Get it away!" "I'm trying to help you out, bitch." She stuck her tongue out at me and I took the opportunity, shoving the saliva soaked sleeve into her mouth. "Nmmm!" She shouted and delivered a swift and hard punch to my jewels.

I made the same noise she did and clutched at the beaten little Mugen. If she thought I was going to still go easy on her after that then I'm going to make her regret it with a smile on my face. I pulled the sleeve out and jumped onto her, straddling her and using one hand to hold her arm near her face and the other to grip the soaking sleeve.

The wet sleeve pressed down on her cheek and she let out a long moan of frustration. "This is so gross." I started to scrub at the face paint and found that with every time I moved her eyes fluttered. "Yeah, well. Deal with it." I scrubbed at it and enjoyed seeing the pink cheeks once all that shit was gone. Now, time for the awkward part.

The sleeve was pressed against her lips and started to scrub. Would this be an indirect kiss, my spit on her sleeve rubbing her lips? "If you want to win then don't touch this shit. It makes you look like a cheap whore." She huffed. "As if I'm taking your advice over hers." "Brat, I've been with enough women to know what type of whore is sexy. And cheap isn't sexy unless you're on your way to get castrated."

After adding a little elbow grease she was as good as she could get, since she still had that ugly face. "Thanks, Mugen." She said as I moved off her. She still sounded unhappy, but I've lost care.

Right as Fuu stood up Six came running into the room, knocking me over when her heavy shoe flew off her feet and into my side! "Fuu, what the hell happened to the make-up?" Six ripped the kimono off the clown and snapped her head to look at me. "Cover your eyes, pervert." I don't know why I did as told, especially since it came from this cunt.

"It started to burn my eyes. But Mugen got it off." "Pfft, figures. Anywho, it doesn't matter at the moment. We need to fix your hair and get you in a better, cleaner kimono." I heard Six take off her own clothes and Fuu stumble. "Stop moving and get dressed!" "What the fuck is going on?" I opened my eyes and saw Six trying desperately to comb out Fuu's hair with her fingers "Eee, ow, oh, ow!"

Six turned Fuu around and started to rub her hands over the clothes to smooth out wrinkles. "LaPlegua is here and is calling auditions open. If she's not down there in a few minutes then everyone else is going to fill up the spots." She wet her fingers and smoothed out a curl in the brat's hair before approving of her work. This all seems fucking stupid to me.

"Now. LaPlegua sits up in a tree with his assistant." Sounds like an asshole. "You can't see his face---stop flipping your hair, you're messing up my work!" She held Fuu's hands down by her side and Fuu tried to kick her. Can't say I wouldn't do the same. "Now wow him. And remember, if you embarrass me and make my reputation go down the drain, along with my chances of excellent karma, I'll rip your hair out strand by strand."

With that she pushed Fuu out the door and I eagerly followed. Man, this was going to kick ass.

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_**Author's Note: Sorry it's so short. But what I was going to continue with sounded like it would be better for a next chapter, plus I just wanted to update. This is all I can think of to say. I want to listen to cheesy 90's dance music. I will. I like rusty spoons. Hahe. I like to touch them. The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic!**_

_**Review, because it makes my day. Oh, and if you want a story, I'll glady write it. Because I can't just focus on three stories, I need more. **_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: _Have you ever played Resident Evil 4? Good Lord, is it hard! I've died five times in that village on ch.1-pt.1, and nearly died again before that bell rang. Ahah, and one of the non-zombies outside when you go and hide from them sounds like he's saying "get some", which is what my dad says a lot. So that brought a giggle from me before I died!_ **

_**And "I like rusty spoons..." is a line from the cartoon Salad Fingers. Search for it on Wikipedia and it will have the links to the cartoon at the bottom. **__**Hehe, watch out language this chapter. And weeee! No spellcheck!**_

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This is stupid. Seriously, I've been trampled by atleast six squirrels in a hurry to get backstage, and it's all because Jin wanted to "make sure Fuu wouldn't be kidnapped" and made us sit right beside the large curtain. I think he just wants to sneak a peek, since the squirrels don't have dressing rooms.

And Six wasn't lying, LaPlegua really does sit up in a tree! When we first sat down I saw him climbing up in it, along with his chubby assistant. If I leaned forward I could see up to the top of his kimono, which I swear I saw a squirrel in this town wearing before. His chubby assistant sat on a lower branch so I could actually see his face. He looks sorta familiar.

"Hag, where is your son?" Oh, yeah. Jin has made a new nickname for hot granny. I kind of like it, suits her. She grabbed my hair and ripped it down so I fell over on to my side. "What the hell is that for!? I didn't do nothing to you!" "It's anything! And deliver the message." She let me go and I pushed myself back up to grab Jin's horse's-ass-tail. "Uncalled for." As soon as I let him go he grabbed the other side of my head and did what granny did. "And what are you doing it for, fish face!?" "Pass it on." This sucks. I went and grabbed granny's hair, pulling her over. I let her go and she ripped mine again. "I don't think he heard the first time." "Wench."

After much more hair pulling one of those triangle instruments were rung and everyone went silent. I saw La-Asshole's hands making shapes and the chubby assistant cleared his throat. "Welcome, all. Thank you for having us back once again to spread the word of fashion and culture. I'm LaPlegua and the man below me is my assistant Minnagari." "Why don't you just talk, LaPelagu?" Jin smacked my head and Minnagari gave a laugh as LaPlegua's hands moved again. "My voice is so powerful that it will burst your eardrums."

"..." Why am I the only one who wants to beat this---- this-----, "Fuu, what's the word? Nacalistitant?" I shouted. She poked her head through the large curtain and raised her fist. "Narcissistic, moron. Now shut up!" Her head popped back out of sight. Now, back to what I was saying. Why am I the only one who wants to beat this narcissistic jack-off? I bet he sounds like a little girl.

"We shall start with our first hopeful work of art." Art? Have they seen what I've seen? Maybe they keep the sex goddess locked up the rest of the year. "Muris?" A woman swayed her hips as she walked forward on the small, crappy looking stage that leads up to the tree the assholes are sitting in.

Ugh, nasty! Her hair is greasy looking and her face is so splotchy. Her boobs are saggy and her kimono is too tight. She poked her chest up, not that it helped those popped balloons any, and let out a moan. I repeat: ugh, nasty!

La-Asshole put his hand to chin as if he was thinking before gesturing again. "You hold onto your youth with desperation." Naw! "And because of that you look more like a painting where the artist wasn't able to paint a middle-aged woman." Pfft, he's just being kind.

"Our next piece of art, ...Butterfly?" I laughed. I laughed hard and long, slapping my knee and flinging spit everywhere. Butterfly! Ha, I bet the woman's butt ugly. "And just _what _is so funny?" Minnagari, or LaAsshole, asked. I continued laughing, and even heard Jin laughing low. "Butterfly! They named her Butterfly!"

"I fail to see the humor, sir. And neither does the lovely young woman sneaking behind you." What? POW! I had felt that punch enough to know that it was Fuu who had sneaked behind me and brought her fist down on my head. "Shut up, moron!" "Hey, Jin was laughing too!" She hit me again, and this time Jin joined her. "Heh, serves you right." Granny said. "Oh, pipe down, you old bitch." "Wanna see this old bitch's fury!?"

"Quiet down! You are all taking..." Whatever he said was lost to me, because I just saw the sexiest thing I've ever seen in this town. It was Fuu, same old naggy and on the rag Fuu, only sexy. No, she'd beat my shins in at that word. Beautiful? Yeah! Beautiful! She was leaning over me with her fists still balled and her light green kimono opened just enough to tease.

Her hair was hanging down, much thicker than it looks while it's up. Oh, Six even managed to get the hair a bit curly. And thank fuck, Six didn't add pounds of make-up on her either, just enough to make her look older. Though I kinda got the opposite effect.

Her eyes always were pretty, but with the hair and the kimono, they stand out more and look even better. In other words, she's beautiful and atleast an eight. Hehe, take that, Six.

"What are you staring at?" Fish face growled. I winked at him and licked my lips. "So, Fuu. How's about giving your best buddy your cherry?" Jin looked furious, Granny looked like she was in a blind rage, and Fuu looked lost. "Cherry? What are you talking 'bout? I don't have a cherry." "Sure you do, girly. It's in your--" "Vaginey? You're up next."

Fuu must have just realized that she was standing outside already in her outfit, because she blushed and rushed back to behind the stage. Jin leaned forward and gritted his teeth. "You're vile, Mugen." Yeah, I am.

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Of course with my luck Fuu has to be last. Fuck, my ass is sore. Jin and Granny still look pissed off from earlier. And I keep getting this feeling like someone in glaring at me from up in a tree. Eh, I don't know what that's about.

Every one of the girls that are competing all have stupid names. Butterfly, Looin, Vaginey, just to name a few. And they were all ugly. I sighed and leaned forward. What's the point in holding this if the guys and lesbians have no eye candy? I mean seriously. "And our last, but certainly not least, work of art, Fuu!" About damn time.

She came out, still looking as beautiful and sexy as she did earlier. She cocked her head to the side a little so that her neck was showing, and it looked like an invitation. She swayed her hips and stared up at the tree, I guess trying to see LaAsshole. She took slow steps and moved her hands so that they looked like they were caressing her hips.

And then she tripped. "Aaah!" She screamed as her legs got twisted up together and she fell forward. She didn't look too bad going down. Especially since the opening in her kimono got larger and I caught nipple.

So, the brat apparently never learned how to fall properly, since she's now on the ground crying and clutching her nose. "Ughhh, I think I broke it!" She cried. I feel kind of bad for her, since she was super sexy before her clumsiness broke her nose. Jin and I got up and went over to her, kneeling down beside her. Jin brushed her pretty hair back and looked closely at her nose.

"Stop crying, bitch. If it was broken it'd be bleeding a lot worse." "Buff mmm nawse hyyyts." She moaned while still crying. Jin took her hands away and titled her head back, which looked like it hurt since she was laying on her stomach.

"Mugen is right, it's not broken. Just calm down and the bleeding is stop soon." I don't like how he's petting her. He helped her stand up, still petting her hair, and helped her backstage. The squirrels all screamed and called him a pervert, and he surprised me and Granny by shouting back them a 'be quiet!'. Now, I think we'd be good friends if he'd just stop touching her. Don't know why I care, but I do dammit! Crap, now I have to analyze my feelings.

Well, I'm sure that I don't like him touching her because if he starts showing that he cares for her than I'm going to end up being ignored And I'm not going to be ignored. But I'm also sure that it's jealousy I feel when he touches her, because I can't keep my hands on innocent places. But I'm used to women wanting my hands in naughty places.

"Get off the stage!" Someone hissed. I rolled my eyes and went back to my seat. Why's Jin already sitting back down? I know I wasn't up there that long. "Sit down is what I meant!" Fine! They just don't appreciate my fine ass, that's all.

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**Author's Note: _I'm making fun of all the crappy names I make up, haha. But, on a serious note, I'm sorry for lying to you all! I told someone I would update back in April, and I really meant to! But, -sigh-, I got sidetracked and just never felt in the mood to write this chapter. I chose a bad cut off, but I really want to update._ **

**_And I had to return Resident Evil 4 back to Movie Gallery, as I was a week late and frustrated with it. How do you beat Salazar without wasting every last piece of ammo? Any cheats on that and I'll love you. God, I wanted to beat it too. Damn you, Salazar! _**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:_ I just discovered the stats, and I must say, THANK YOU! Yeah, I'm not kidding about discovering them. I always just ignored that link, until a friend of mine mentioned about her story getting so many readers, and I asked her how she knew. So, thank you to all that have favorited, alerted, reviewed, and just read. Oh, yeah, we're moving towards the romance. And someone mentioned something about a threesome. Tempting..., but I don't know yet, so if you despise threesomes don't click out 'cause I'm not promising one._**

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"I'm soooorrryyy. I didn't mean to let you all doooowwwnn." Fucking hell, shut up! Dammit, Fuu's been going on and on about how she's sorry, how she didn't meant to ruin her chances, how she took all of Six's---though she just called Six "her", since we don't know her name--- work for granted. And it's really, really starting to piss me off.

They had called a break so LaAsshole and Minnagari could decide who would move on and all that crap. So, she had came out from behind the curtain, plopped down beside Granny, and started crying. Six was no where in sight, so I guess she was either out screwing some random guy, or beating a tree and cursing Fuu. Eh, doesn't matter.

"Fuu, it's not like you had any chance to being with," "Oh, shut up, you bastard!" Geez, I was just trying to make her feel better, no need to snap. That thin lips-four eyes-girly haired asshole needs to stop snickering. "Aw, Fuu. Fuu, you're going to move on." Go 'head, Granny. You try and make her feel better. And now it's going to backfire in five, four... "Why would someone who literally fell flat on their face move on!?" And here come the tears.

Ugh, I want sake. Badly. Lots and lots of sake. I'll even fuck Six again for sake!

Great, now all the squirrels are peeking from behind the curtain and laughing at her, which is making her cry more. "Where's the kidnappers from a brothel when you need one?" I muttered. Fuu sniffed. "Why? So they can just kidnap me and make me fall on my face in front of everyone for the entertainment!" I sighed and returned Granny's glare.

Sake, sake, sake, sake, maybe some rice, sake, sake...Bingo! "You know Fuu, you're the best looking female out of all the women," If you could call them that, "here. So even though you fell down, you fell down while be being the best looking, and that's what matters." Her eyes grew wide and her face dried qucikly. She turned to me and started to sniffle as tears fell again. "Oh, fuck it all, I said the right thing that time! So what's the problem now!?"

Her answer was jumping on me and hugging me until I heard brones crack. "She's happy, moron." Jin said. I got an evil little payback plan, and moved one of my hands to rub the small of her back, each movement of it taking it closer and closer to her butt. I made sure he could read my lips as I said a "And just _who _is she holding". He glared and Granny ripped my hand away from her.

"Alright, I think that's enough comforting. They look like they're ready to announce who will move on, so you better----" Oh, sweet whoever is in charge, there's an open stand with sake! Granny finished saying whatever she was saying and Fuu nooded and stood up, wiping her eyes and turning to me. "Thank you so much, Mugen! I know I'll win now." He he, look at that sour look on Jin's face. "It was only the truth, Girly." How's that insult to injury feel, Fish Bastard?

I knew I couldn't get sake now, or else Granny and Jin would act like I spat on them or something, so I just waited and hoped they would hurry this thing up.

"Ahem. We have now came to a decision on who shall move on to the actual pagent, which shall take place by the inn you all know." Everyone waved to Granny and she waved back, calling everyone cheap bastards that wreck up the place under her breath. "You were all fantastic contestants, and we would like to thank you for all coming out. Now, onto to the winners, in no particular order."

"Tiasi." Some fat chick with thin hair came out, shaking her hips and blowing kisses. "The three triplets, Maso, Saso, and Baso." Three skinny little twigs came out with too much make-up on, and they looked kind of pissed. From the fact that they were lumped together or how stupid their names were, I didn't know or care.

"Yui." Another skinny twig. "Sakura. Butterfly." I remember her! "Natashia." Some foreigner. "Ada. Jensia." They all came out one at a time, and none were attractive. Well, Butterfly is somewhat a five is you look at her a certain way. And ignore the harry lip. "Fuu." Jin and Granny clapped as she walked forward, walking as if something was shoved up in her, but I knew she was only walking that way to make sure she didn't trip again. Or unless things got really, really heated backstage.

I stood up, releaved that my duty as bodyguard or friend or whatever the hell it was was finished at the moment. Now for that sake!

"Where are you going, man whore?" Hey, Granny got up to follow me. I wondered if she was planing something violent. "I'm going to get me some sake, old leather skin. And if you buy, I just might let you join me." Go figure were the pleasent Mugen was coming from. "Fine, I'll buy. I'm sure Almi will want to take Fuu out since she's one of the final contestants." But how would Almond know?

I sat on one of the little stools and Granny sat beside me. You know, she is still Hot Granny. Maybe she would let me cop a feel or two. "And how would Look-Al----Almi know?" "...He'll just know. Now do you want some sake or not?" "Fine!"

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Many, many cups of sake later, we both are succesfully drunk. And no one bothered us! I was expecting Fuu or Jin or someone equally annoying to come over and stop the fun, but no one did.

"And I told him, 'Ride the pony!', and he did, alllll night long, you get me?" "Oh ho, I get cha!" We both started laughing hysterically, though Hot Granny's laughing came out more like wheezing. "I like for the pony to ride me, you get ma?" "Oh man, do I get ya! I rode quite a few in my day."

"Aw, come on, Hotty. You have got to have got some," Ow, I fell off the damn stool. "even at your age now." She helped me up and we hooked arms, heading for the inn. "Oh, let me tell you! Almi used to have this friend named Callia, he was a year or two older than my son, and he was se-xy. He was wild! But he died during an orgasm while we were together, so Almi doesn't bring any of the few friends he has home."

I let out a loud "HA HA" and we started laughing again. "Sounds awesome! Let me tell you a secret: I've never been with anyone older than fourty." "No!"

"It's true." It was silent, though not awkwardly silent, as we stumbled our way up to the inn. "Hey, I got an idea! Come on, youngin, it's bath time."

Mm, being drunk like a skunk and in water is great, the water feels more thick and you can pee without being embarrassed. I felt a hand slide up my thigh, and looked over at Naked Hot Granny, who's wrinkles were looking really good. "I think it's time to do something about that little secret of yours, man whore." Oh, talking dirty? I like the way this woman thinks...I think...I'm not really sure.

"You like for the pony to ride you, eh? Wait, do you?" I nodded. She slithered up into my lap and grinned. Without even batting an eyelash she impaled herself on the Shaft of Mugen, my new little nickname for it, and we both moaned. She start jumping up and down on it, and I start pounding forward, though kept getting dizzy.

"Away we go, youngin!"

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**Author's Note: _Ahahahahhah. Whoo, whooo, man. Okay, so we didn't exactly get to the romance. But I just had to have Mugen screw Granny. Just had to. That last line still has me laughing. I swear we'll get to the romance next chapter. Wow, I can think of so many insults for Mugen to give Almi now. Sorry if you wanted to see more MugenXGranny, but I just left it out at that. Sorry for taking so long! I hope this was worth the wait._**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:_ Sorry if I haven't to your reviews like I normally do, but I've been lllllaaaazzzyyyyy. Anyways, HAHAHAH at everyone's responses to the granny-loving. But don't expect more hot, watery, wrinkly, sagging parts sex. And I'm still thinking on the threesome. Very on the fence about that one. Thanks a lot, whoever brought up the idea! No, I'm just kidding. _****_Anyways, thank you for reviewing, I'll make sure to respond this time! _**

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Damn, gravity is heavy. I can barely move! Argh, and my eyes are killing me. I don't think I've gotten as hammered as last night since that one time, what was it, the begining of Fuu's little journey? Oh, man. I still cringe thinking about that hangover. And this one is very similar to it. I wish gravity would stop being a bitch and let me get comfortable so I can just rest my eyes and sleep off the pain.

"Pain, pain, I said 'hey'. Now pack your bags and go away." Fish-face used to mumble that whenever he was hurt. Ha, who knew the bastard was a poet. I wonder if I could make a rhyme catchy like that. "Sake, sake, one drunk man. Buy me some sake, anybody can. Give me money, and mark it with your...blood! Then buy me some rice, but hold the blood."

Yeah. I'm good. Jin, you watch your back. I'm going to out rhyme you any day.

"I tell you everyday that you suck at poetry, Frank." Frank? Who's this 'Frank'? Or better yet, who's that tal---oh, son of a godamned bitch.

I forced my eyes to pull apart, and my worst fears were in front of me. Naked Granny was on my lap, drapping all her weight across me, and still on Shaft of Mugen. Oh, and now it's all coming back. Well, fuck me sideways, this is just wonderful! "Get off me!"

She groaned and swatted my shoulder. "You'll pee when I let you pee, Frank." Speaking of pee, I must have done a lot, because the water is a dark yellow. "Get off or I'll pee on you." "Oh, Frank, you remebered my fetish!" ...

"Fucking nasty!" With all the force my weak---only weak 'cause she's laying on me!--- arms could muster, I forced her off. Ew, she fell backwards and all my precious Sperm of Mugen went into the water. "What the hell was that for, Fr---man whore!?" "Granny!" "Your worst nightmare."

Both our heads snapped to the side to see Fish-Face, in all his thin lipped, ponytail wearing, smirk wearing, Fuu lusting, going to rub this in my face glory. Bastard. Ugh, Shaft of Mugen is sore. I wonder how many times we had at it. "Well, and here I thought we were staying in a respectable inn." "I'm respectable, ass!" Yeah, whatever effect Granny was going for was lost the minute she stood up and we got a look at all of her. Hah, if only there wasn't a comma there.

"Oh, don't act like you haven't fucked a granny before!" I guess I chose the wrong words, because tears started falling out of her eyes. "I'm not even a granny yet! I would be though, if you two idiots would just let Almi and Fuu get together!" Jin growled and took a step towards the tub. "Something tells me that Almi isn't the_ dominant_ one, if you catch my meaning." I didn't! What the hell does dominance have to do with baby-making?

Granny must have caught what I didn't, because she hopped out of the tub and charged at him. He easily side-stepped her tough, so she was sent falling to the ground, ass cheeks and boobs shaking. I looked down; you know, just making sure that her wrinkles didn't make it wrinkly. After she was up, Jin looked at me and winked. "Wait 'til Fuu learns this. Then whatever plan you had to get into her kimino will be ruined." Oh, Fuu is going to shit a brick when she learns this little piece of news. Well, I'm just not gonna let that happen.

"Fuu! Wake up!" Oh no, the bastard didn't! Little cheat ran back into the inn and I jumped out and scrambled to get my clothes on. Granny was just taking her sweet time and moving like her age requires. Hehe, take that old hag. It only took a minute for me to get dressed, though I did kind of smell like sex. Oh, well, no one ever tried to screw girly, so she'll probably think I just fell in something nasty, or that sake makes my body odor worst (it does not, I don't give a damn what Jin says).

I was just about to rush into the inn, when I felt a heavy weight on my back. "Feel free to pee on me anytime, youngin." I'm just...just going to supress that.

I ran into the inn and almost double-overed. Smart ass Fish Face's little plan to ruin whatever he thought my plan was just backfired. He has a defeated look on his face, and it's because Fuu is cooing over Almi and leaving no room for interuptions. And look at Almond, he's-----look-alike stole my fucking kimono gift to him to give to Fuu!

Now, had he given it to Fuu after making his little alterations and what not, I would have been all happy and commented on what a piece of shit it was. But he didn't do that. Nope, he instead added white cloth flowers to it! And is now wearing it! With his hair done up like Fuu's! Fuu squeled and ran around the girly-boy, clapping her hands and commenting on how it's perfect on him.

"What the hell's going on?" I shouted. Jin gaped and Fuu just smiled. "He fixed up this old tattered kimono we found hidden in the floor boards. It was so ugly, but Almi made it beautiful!" Almond crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to look like a fucking idiot. Jin wasn't happy. Oooh, man, if I had me some food this would be awesome. But only after Jin started kicking his ass and my shock/anger/mumbo-jumbo-jaba-waba-ding-dong-diddly-diddly-do wore off.

"You realize that that's a woman's kimono, correct?" Almond didn't acknowledge him, but Fuu puffed out her cheeks. "So! You can't tell all that much. Besides, I like it, and since I'm a woman--" "Girl! In order to be a woman, you have to hit those 'awkward stages' first. And you still have decades to go before you hit puberty." "Shut. Up. Mugen."

Fuu stomped over and in a blink of an eye slipped her shoes off----Six's heavy shoes, I should say----and wapped me in the nose with it. Well, the bitch had better apolagize, because my nose is bleeding and I swear to breasts it's crooked. "After you fell on your nose the other day you should know better than to hit people in them, dumb bitch." "Don't call her that, you stupid MuFuu."

And evvvveeerrryyyyything came to a halt. Even the little birdies flying around us that none of them have seemed to taken notice of.

Did, did he just say 'MuFuu?' instead of 'MoFu'? Oh, I think he did.

"Hey, Mugen! That sounds like our names combined!" Why, yes, it does, innocent little pawn in my recent plan. I threw an arm over her shoulder and another around her waist, pulling her tight against me. "Well, what do you know? It _does_." Jin looks royally pissed off, which is making me want to fling Fuu up in the air and drop her in joy.

I snuggled Fuu, casting a smirk at Fish Face and Almond, though Almond doesn't seem near as angry as Jin. "I guess it's a sign that we're meant to be really, really close friends; don't you think, Fuu-chan?" "Yeah! It's catchy, too!"

"That slipped out and you know it wasn't meant in that disgusting way, Mugen." Lala, I can't hear your jealousy, envy, anger, self-loathing, and hatred.

"I think it's only us that are meant to be really close friends, too, since no one else's name is that catchy. JinFuu sounds like a type of karate, and not a cool kind. FuuJin sounds like the name of one of those squirrels. AlmiFuu doesn't have that zaz like MuFuu, and FuuAlmi doesn't either." Glare 'til your eyes fall out! Glare! Glare, 'MuFuu', glare! "I guess we're just meant to be." "Me too, Mugen."

Jin's tightening his hands, and Almi is glancing at something behind us, then glaring at me, though it's not as sparky as Jin's. "But you know what we have to do now, girly?" Her eyes were way too wide and puppy-like. "No, what?" Grinning like a sly cat, I leaned really close, though made sure that my audience heard. "We have to share saliva, like the tradition says." My tradition. My new tradition. That shall be carried out in the name of pissing off Fish Face Bastard.

She didn't notice my grin getting bigger. "You get away and go clean that tub out, Lord knows it needs it." And we still can't hear you, Jin! Now, back to the brat. "Like spitting on our thumbs and touching them? I used to do that with a little boy down the street before I met you two." "No, Fuu. We do it the way adult friends do it."

And with no further insults to Jin's pride and Almi's chances or whatever the hell, I smashed my lips against hers.

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**Author's Note:_ I love this chapter. It may seem rushed and not the best, but Dairyo here loves it. The MuFuu-MoFu idea came from the summary of a MuFuu story, and the author was giggling about the pairing name. Then it hit me and BAM! This is born. And, -cough- in case you skipped over it in the hopes that I would get to the loving for Fuu and not Granny, and missed my subtle little hints at Almi's personality, then for plot purposes (if you're even interested in the actual plot, I know it's thin and wouldn't blame you for just wanting to get to the loving), take a look back. Hope you enjoyed! I'll shut up now, as this is going on six lines, my limit. _**


	9. Chapter 9

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Author's Note:** **_Well, distracted. Badly. I'M SO SORRY! Christ, it's 2008 and I haven't updated since August. I'm sorry, but het just...bores me. I don't know why. I'm a heterosexual female, yet I'm just so bored when reading it. So, I've pretty much betrayed MuFuu, JinFuu fans. That's right, I've taken a liking to MuJin! Not the stupid JinMu, but the other, yes. Jin is pretty and meant to be fucked, in my mind now. However, don't fret! He's still straight in this fic! And..hehe, still thinking hard (now that I remembered I had this story) on that threesome. If I DID write one, then don't worry, because it'd be a very straight threesome! _**

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I think she was in shock, because for the first half minute or so she just kind of stood there and let me keep slamming my lips against her soft and pouty ones. But after that she woke up and started hitting me and trying to shove me away; but I wasn't about to let the brat go. Nope, there were people to piss off and scores to settle (though I forgot what scores), so I held her tighter to me and shoved my tongue into her mouth. She did the opposite of the chicks I'm used to and tried moving her tongue back into her throat, but I kept up the chase and wrapped mine around hers. And then she started gagging.

I had never had a girl throw up in my mouth before, so this was pretty damn new for me. Yeah, that's why I didn't move away until the sour and slimy vomit touched my tonuge.

"Aw, fucking nasty! What the hell was that for, bitch!?" She bent forward and hurled her chunks all over my feet. Jin rushed over to her and held her hair out of her face, which was kind of useless since it was in a ponytail and already out of her face. Ewww, it's all sinking under my foot and if I move my toes it squishes.

"You bastard, you made her sick!" Jin heatidly said. I wanted to say that if anyone made anyone sick, it's her making me sick, what with her vomiting in my fucking mouth on my fucking taste buds and what not. She started crying while dry heaving, and I'll admit, I felt bad, just not bad enough to show that I gave a damn.

Jin rubbed her back all fake-caring like, and I stood there and made sure to scoff loudly. "I'm sorry, Mugen." She cried really pitifully. Or pathetically! Yeah, the latter! Because, even if she's a girl, she needs to make sure to act proud! And her crying and rubbing her eyes with her kimono sleeve isn't dignified! And, to make her realize how dumb she is, I growled out in a rough voice, "it's fine."

I've fucked more bitches than a dog in heat. You know, just sayin'.

Granny, all dressed and braiding that hair, chose then to come in. She made a concerned sound before rushing over. But I saw the wink she sent me! She even licked her lips!

"Fuu! Are you all right?" It was then that look-alike chose to scurry over and act all upset. Now, I'm not a paranoid guy, but that was suspicious. But, he's a prancer, and that leg sure did pick a great place to go up under.

Had I not just been kicked in the balls, I'm sure I would have tried to comfort Fuu, but the pain down there sure can distract a male. So, instead of following her like everyone else, I just kind of sat there and wished death on everyone.

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So she spent all day in her room. And while she did that, I thought. Okay, so it wasn't her fault that she hurled chunks all over my damn feet. And it's not her fault that Almond "pranced" and kicked me in the balls. And from the way they all kept looking when they decided to give her some peace, she's needing some cheering up. Or whatever, you know. 

"Comin' in, bitch."

She really was torn up over something so stupid. She was backed up in the corner and her eyes had started to water as soon as I came in. Since her whining is annoying, I figured that I'd be gentle. Handle her like a sissy, or a fish face.

I plopped down on the floor in front of her, and scratched my leg a I tried to think of a gentle way to talk to her. "Err, Fuu. There's no need to waste such precious inner-water one such ...uhhh... fru--fruital matters. You just obeyed your inner-gag reflex, so don't feel so bad. Hey, even after you hur--er, emptied your stomach contents, I still found you sexy! You're not re-repullivess at all, Fuu. And, hey, I was the one who kiss---"

"SHUT UP!" Oh, great, here she goes.

She started crying hard. Really, really hard. Like, thwaking me in the chest with her feet while beating on the ground hard. "DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!" "Well, you're not looking all that smart either, hurly!"

This gentle stuff just doesn't work for me, because she stopped being violent and started being all depressed. "I'm sorry, Mugen. This just isn't my day, huh?" "Hell no."

She sighed and drew herself up into an upright ball. "Did you mean it when you kissed me?" "What? The friendship bull?" She buried her head further into her knees, mumbling so that I had to waste extra energy just to listen to her complaining. "No, the kiss. Did you mean the kiss?" I was a little confused, and I'm behind speaking what you feel. "Eh?" "Did you kiss me because you l-li-like me?" That helped some. "Like a friend or what? Because yeah, you're annoying and you threw up in my goddamned mouth, but you're okay." "NO! Mugen, did you kiss me because you love me, or because you were just trying to joke around!?"

Ooooohhh. Way to put people on the spot, brat! How do you answer that? With the truth? Just get ready for the waterworks if you're going to even think of the truth! I'm not patient, I'm not going to be honest if it's only going to be bad for me in the end! ...Wait, didn't I say I was honest? Well, I'm both! I know when to tell the truth and when to lie; how 'bout that!

"I don't _do _love, but I ...I guess I do like you a lot." "Hah, sure you do..."

"Listen here, I like you a lot! You're more special to me than the whores, and I kissed you 'cause when you looked at me I felt special! Jin! Jin even likes you, and I don't know but I think Almi likes you too. Granny might even want to bang you, telling from the way she's always on about you. I kissed you because you're the most important person to me!" I was already going to go to hell, what's one more sin?

She teared up again, and I expected her to just lose it. But she didn't, instead she flung herself into my lap and kissed me! It was good! She didn't have a clue how to kiss, and when she put her tongue in my mouth she kept trying to shove it down my throat, but it was still good. She's scrawny, but she fits great against me! And I'm taller than her, so she has to strain to reach me and her ass, small as it is, sticks out great! I couldn't help but grope it, and she didn't hit me, just blushed.

I think her waist's the greatest part of her. It's tiny, and it's just right. My arms fit perfectly around it, and I can even wrap them completely around it. "Mugen, I love you..." And then she killed it all.

Almi and Jin standing in the doorway didn't help either.

Almi broke into tears and was first one to attack. "AAAEEEEIIIIII!!!!" He had a nice battlecry, really got the banshee feel of it. He attacked my eyes, which is a low blow! Fingers pressed on the fucking pupil before a fist jammed into my gut. Girlie started screaming instead of doing the smart thing and helping me, and Jin rushed over there and pulled her to the side. Then he got some action.

Only pussies sit back and allow two people to beat them up, and Mugen ain't no pussy. So, I fought back! I smashed a fist into Jin's glasses, started choking Almi, and ripped a chunk of hair out of Jin's ponytail with my teeth.

"You're a dirty bastard, Mugen!" Oh, so little Almond wants to talk, huh?

Jin's foot got me in the ribs right as I got Almi in the dick, as pay back and all.

"You think you can use her like your other women!? "

"You're just mad because you want to fuck her!"

"Mugen!"

Fish face decided to spit on me, and that made me lose it. WAM! into the gut, BAM! into the cheek, then RIP! to the ponytail. Almi got teeth to the ear and then to the neck. All this time I was sitting down, to boot!

"You're a bastard! You don't think of anyone but yourself!"

"Oh yeah!? Well, I fucked your mom!" As soon as it came out my mouth dropped, Almi fell backwards, and Fuu's shocked face came into view.

"Excuse me?"

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**Author's Note:_ YYEEESSS!!!! Oh, yes! Gueeeeesss what suddenly hit your author! It's great, it takes a weight off the chest! Ahem, your author, HiHoTheDairyo, has decided on that threesome matter. That's right! And if you've read this note, then you're getting a treat! I won't spoil as to what my decision was, but I swear it'll make people happy. It's made me happy, and I feel like a genius. It's four in the morning. Man, I need to finish my edits. And this story. Iiinnnnnsooommmniiiiaaaaaa._**

**_Fruital - frugal, which isn't even the correct word for that sentence. _**

**_Repullivess - repulsive. Mugen acting smart is great! _**


	10. Chapter 10 v2

**Author's Note:_ I hope I still have my readers (particularly you, PurpleLeemer, you crack me up) after that mishap of a tenth chapter. I hope this makes up for it at least somewhat. Bah, that summer was not a creative one. It was full of sunburns though, so many sunburns. I'm really sorry, though. I have a lot of promises to fulfill, and a lot of stuff to do in real life (60 something community service hours, tenth grade homework, ...reading...), and I promise I'll get around to editing this story one day. If I have any readers left, that is._**

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_And Fuu's shocked face came into view._

_"Excuse me?"_

Hell's bells.

Why's this shit always got to happen to me? I'm a good guy! I've put up with brat and protected her like no other for weeks, this is bullshit right here.

"M-Mugen?" "Shut the fuck up, I'm thinking!"

So, before I was rudely interrupted, what the hell am I in this for? Well, I'm in it, might as well fix it before they get on my bac--

"MUGEN!" "I knew you would do this!" "Selfish bastard!" Growling, I jumped up and met them halfway, since they dived forward to get all up in my face. Fish face got all pushy, Almond got all snappy, and Fuu was ...

Aw, hell, not this "feelings" business again.

Fuu was standing off to the side, twig arms wrapped around her board frame. And fine, I'll say it: I wanted to "cuddle" her.

I think my dick shriveled up.

"Get off him!" Now who's gotta stick their nose in--oh _**no**_.

Granny twirled her rope braid in her hand, and that nasty, nappy excuse of an eyebrow cocked. "Everyone's going to calm down right now," she hissed out, and I plopped down on the ground, finger going in my ear. I fucked her already, I ain't gotta listen to her now.

"Almi, he's telling the truth, we made love." HA!

She turned to Fuu, making a point with her finger and narrowing her eyes. "And you're going to get over it, little missy." Eh? "He's too _mature_ for your type, and you have a fine enough suitor already, so.." And here her lips pursed and she moved right in girlie's face. "Suck. It." Oh no she didn't.

Fuu's eyes drooped before she ran out, that stupid ponytail sissy following her 'cause he's a dog.

Granny shot a look at Almi before turning to me. She winked at me, and that was when I got pissed off.

With a snarl I shot up and stuff my hands in my pockets, spitting out a "nasty bitch".

Bah.

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She's not talking to me, and that's just fucking fine. "You hear me, brat!? I don't care!" Sissy stuck his head out the room's backdoor, doing that scowl thing, not like he's got any lips to do it with anyway.

They've kicked me out, and like I said, that's just fucking fine. Fuu's just over-reacting and is more of a bitch now, I'd glad I'll be off by myself then dealing with her. "GOT THAT!?" "GO AWAY!" Bitch best not get to shouting.

Fiine, fine, spitting right outside the door, I walked out of the (fucking ugly) courtyard and into town, not even caring that the squirrels seemed to get all ga-ga when I walked by. Not like I didn't know I had that effect either.

_Big, innocent eyes looking shocked, then slowly looking self-conscious and disappointe--_

Uh-uh, ain't thinking that. It's all Nasty Granny's fault, kiddie never would have been as upset if Granny had just shut the fuck up. I mean sure, she'd have to find out eventually, can't lie to her forever since she's so nosey, but ...dammit all.

"Oh, it's perfect."

My eyebrow shot up, 'cause that was Six's voice. First thing that comes to mind: she's screwing. Second: she's a six. Third: I'm angry.

I swayed and smirked as I peeked around the corner to see Six, for once not pushing her boobs out, holding the kimono that ..I...gave...Almi...fixed...HEY!

And there was Almond, looking sexier than Six (I'm gonna rename her Four), smirking my smirk. "You should recognize it. He took it from your store, after all. I just made it better." Six squished her lips and cocked her head to the side. "Oh, hm, that all?" "It didn't take too long, just touching up the mistakes." "Mistakes, mm-hm, I see." If I wasn't in detective mode I'd bust a gut.

"...Yeah. Okay, so we're still on?"

On for what?

"Oh, you betcha. Just a few more of these babies, and I'll do my part of the deal."

"Do what part?"

Jin is a fucking ninja or something, because there he goes, out of nowhere, popping up right beside me and making men--not me, 'course--jump. "Samurai would be the correct term." "Pffft."

He gave me one of those finger-shushes, and I went to spit in his hair, but look-alike had to go and ruin that too. "Just a few more steps, and he'll be all mine, and she'll be sent packing. Just like the rest of them."

Oh well, I still spit in his hair.

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**Author's Note:_ I really, really hope you liked it. Not loved, at the very least liked enough to continue reading when I update. I WILL, by the way, it'll just take time. Oh, so, since I skipped updating for a whole year: I had an awful, just god awful ninth grade year, I got my permit, I went on a deleting binge, I posted a chapter in the summer after no sleep that was confusing and awful and got me flamed a new one, I was sunburned by hell, and I finally watched Man on the Moon. ...Talk about anti-climatic. Why is that M.I.A. song good? D:_**


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